Lockdown parenting: from stress-fest to revolution!

In recent weeks I’ve had so many conversations with parents who are having to completely rewrite the way they play and connect with their children. I spoke to one couple who confessed, “Honestly, I’ve had to throw 80% of my parenting strategies out of the window since lockdown began.”

I've felt the same: we've all been challenged by the seemingly endless demands of the lockdown and the strain it has placed on families.

Personally, it’s meant loads of the activities I would normally do to connect and play with my daughters (aged 12 and 14), I can’t do right now: I can’t go for a coffee or take them clothes shopping. We can’t go out and meet other families or go to parties as we’d normally do. It’s frightening how quickly all these things have ceased to be a feature of family life but it has made me finally pump up their bicycle tyres that have needed doing for the last 6 months and actually go on a bike ride!

The challenge to keep our tweens and teens occupied 24/7 during lockdown has come as a real shock. Take homeschooling for example, which as one Guardian journalist reported under pandemic conditions can be a stress-fest, with “all the boredom of school holidays, without any of the actual holidays”1.

With all the usual routines upended there’s a temptation to be left feeling guilty or even ashamed about our inability to cope. Yet when our best ideas fall flat, that’s the time to stop beating ourselves up and realise it’s going to take time to think up creative new ideas of filling the 80% with an alternative way of connecting and living as a family together.

If you’re in a state of overwhelm and still wondering what else to do then feel free to download the 22 screen-free ways to connect with your tween/teen on my instagram bio and let’s journey together.

Adjusting to life under pandemic conditions isn’t easy, don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. For some, it’s been a devastating time but for others, it’s been less of an evolution in parenting, and more of a revolution; a revolution of connection between parent and child. As one Dad told me recently, “I’m noticing things about my child I’d never noticed before. I’ve had all this time with him that I would never of had under normal circumstances.”

If you look hard enough there are positives, especially if we are willing to let go of guilt. We all have days when we are like, this is just too much, I can’t cope. It's worth remembering that every child is different, as every parent is different, and we are all on a journey. So let's embrace creativity as we pause, reflect and expand our parenting toolkit.

The Play Healing Parent Podcast hosted by Debi John is launching on 27th May and will be available on all major platforms.

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Deb John